I have a deep desire to be great and to do great things in the world.
With this desire, I often oscillate between productivity and anxiety.
Either I'm all in trying to make great things happen, or I'm anxious for all the little failures and shortcomings.
This morning again that little voice of doubt and anxiety crept into my head.
So I brought it to the Lord.
And He showed me that the core of the anxiety is a problem of identity, it is a doubt about who I am and who God is.
Who am I?
I am a little boy who belongs to Jesus.
I am a beloved little one.
I am one in whom the Father delights.
I am a sinner whom the Lord has looked upon.
I am desired by God.
Who are you, my God?
You are Lord of heaven and earth.
You are the Life within all life.
You are the joy of my heart.
You are the Almighty One.
You are the Good Shepherd, the bridegroom, and the sacrificial lamb.
You are my love and my salvation.
Lord, You know me and You love me! You know the desires of my heart - You made my heart and You love it!
You are faithful and merciful to your little one.
I am Yours. You are the Lord of my life. I will follow you into failure and victory.
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain(Psalm 127)
When I separate from the Lord, my labor is in vain.
It's in vain not because I lack the skillset or determination, but because the Lord is the Life of Life.
And without Him, it's all empty.
And with Him, even death becomes new life and the agony of the cross becomes a place of intimacy.
In Him, all things are redeemed and made new.
So today, Lord, I cling to You as my very life!
I am Your little one who wants to be great.
Teach my eyes to wonder and my heart to be glad.
I trust you.
Let's be Saints!
Isaac